Thursday, April 05, 2007

Cat & Dog Diary

*_Excerpts from a Dog's Diary_*

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

6:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

*_Excerpts from a Cat's Diary_*

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order
to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream
of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and
how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that
the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -
and seem to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he
is safe. For now...


Blogger miss magic said...

haha! this is hilarious! especially the cat's diary.

'...was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and
how to use it to my advantage.'

I love that! it's so cute. exactly like a cunning cat.

4:01 AM  
Blogger burning moon said...

heh, yeah, isn't it! I love the way the cat's diary begins ... 'day 983 of my captivity ...' lol

5:26 AM  
Blogger Chris Never said...

love this

5:26 PM  
Blogger burning moon said...

heh, yeah, it's gorgeous eh?

7:03 PM  

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