beginning moon
in the whisper of a curve
flames of light begin to flicker
filling the hollow cove
where sun has died
lunar revelation
flames of light begin to flicker
filling the hollow cove
where sun has died
lunar revelation
posted by burning moon at 2:52 PM
3 Comments:
in the whisper of a curve
What a hellaciously *not a word but should be lol* fabulous opening line.
Different
different
your voice is shifting a little
like a billow in a well known
t shirt hanging on the line
changing shape for just a moment
its cool
Last lines make me pause
don't know why
I am jagged though so.....
mmm. I'm not sold on the ending, but I'll keep thinking about it.
Maybe I need to lose the last line.
Thanks :)
maybe my voice is shifting a bit. Certainly the last few things I've written have felt different to me.
Does your voice change over time?
I have never really thought about it
I know it evolves
but somehow
I always thought that was slightly different to actual change.
mmmmmm, if you just have lunar revelation on its own, it doesn't really work with the two line strophes before it, it needs another line, just my thoughts though kiddo.
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