Saturday, May 27, 2006

Moon's challenge

was to write a poem using this line:
'the transient waters of internet'

Chris Never wrote this beautiful poem:

The challenge of the Moon

the wavelets
ripple across us

You sing to me
on the incoming tide
a voice carried
in the wing of an osprey
carving the sky alone

I have felt your face
within my hands
sifted through the
curve of shell
to pour onto my palm
and shimmer into the
glare of morning
infinite crystals
spreading on my skin
to cling
then wash away with
the sunset tides.

the transient waters of internet
we slowly stoke
each cupping of the hand
embracing the sky
the sea
the way we should have been.

and this is mine:


My life is being swallowed
in gargantuan gulps.
No matter how I try
to evade its leviathan mouth
the clock keeps swimming toward me
arms spinning, water churning
cross-currents behind it.

Before one groove is worn
smooth from one rock,
I will disappear into the maw.
More transient than
the waters of internet
upon which my ash is sprinkled.


Blogger Chris Never said...

no fair, you combined a time and water metaphor !!!

and you manipulated the line to suit your needs, is there no end to your nefarious deeds woman? lol.

Nicely done Moon, you have really captured the essence of the line, and woven it beautifully into the poem.

An excellent challenge well met.

9:22 PM  
Blogger burning moon said...

Tried a different last line. Which do you prefer?

10:02 PM  
Blogger Chris Never said...

First one I think *smile*

10:19 PM  

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