The Descent
And so it begins,
the spiral descent.
Lip between lips,
tongue tip tasting ...
Bring me down
my bogus priest;
take me to my knees.
Only you worship the blood
canted in my veins -
forbidden flavour.
Pale amber dawn
polishes the sky to stone.
Leap
razed by lightning,
finger crazed,
dazed by the sudden prayer of sex,
the sullen opening of ruby.
How the blood tips extend their absolutions,
lest we forget
we have been melded in this pot before,
lest we remember
that slow, feathered, starless fall.
the spiral descent.
Lip between lips,
tongue tip tasting ...
Bring me down
my bogus priest;
take me to my knees.
Only you worship the blood
canted in my veins -
forbidden flavour.
Pale amber dawn
polishes the sky to stone.
Leap
razed by lightning,
finger crazed,
dazed by the sudden prayer of sex,
the sullen opening of ruby.
How the blood tips extend their absolutions,
lest we forget
we have been melded in this pot before,
lest we remember
that slow, feathered, starless fall.
posted by burning moon at 3:20 AM
20 Comments:
I think it’s the ending that makes this piece, from the whole religious/sex crescendo; the image at the end is just lovely and vulnerable.
cheers Chris. I was very unsure about this. Woke up at five in the morning and scribbled it down, but on reading it the next day I wasn't sure whether the sex/religion mixture worked.
I just kept getting lovely lines and I had to write them. Like the amber dawn bit. Love that. I've seen the sky that exact colour sometimes in the morning, and I could see it in my head.
Still, it's a vague wandery sort of poem ... sigh ... I get worse and worse ...
You can join me in my maelstrom of self doubt I am currently going through, I cannot put fingers to key without shuddering and refusing to write.
*sighs*
Must be the weather at the moment.
This poem works fine kid
*hugs*
homework over the weekend - write me a poem about .... hmmm .... what would inspire you?
Okay, take the phrase 'push it in' see how many variations and alternatives you can come up with, say them with some nice fresh words and language.
to get you started -
push in a hypodermic, a new idea, a penis, a fencepost.
Or just pick one idea and expand on that?
Or don't do anything. But sometimes when I'm stuck a challenge will get me moving again.
Or another favourite trick of mine is to write down words from signs and advertisements I drive past in my car and then try to put them together into a poem. It can give you some nice new words and lead to interesting places.
Have a good weekend anyway.
moon
I will see what I can come up with,
ill post it here...errr...somewhere
lol
tomorrow mayhap, be good kid
The sex and religion mix definitely DO work. Two primal motivations combined.
lol, good for you Chris! I await your genius with bated breath!
Thanks Martyn. That's a good way to look at it. (is that really you in that photo?)
I have sorted through
the dusty corners
stirred spider web memories
to flutter and spiral
around us
Amongst the stained dog-eared
leaflets of time
beneath crumpled yellowing
news clip cut-outs
with graining pictures of
faces best forgotten
lest we forget
I found
and found
and kept finding
a word
a phrase
a single line scrawled
across the page
There are fuchsias in the attic
growing up between the floorboards
creeping to the filtered half light
streaking through shingle gaps
reaching
beseeching
clawing for the simple warmth
of sun
Your
shadow is moving
sideways across
the nailed packed boxes
darkening old photos
to slither slide
and creep up my thigh.
When your
face is against my throat
I will not speak
yet the sound
will cross from me to you
in vibrations
to make skin ripple
to make flesh dimple
to offer resurrection
of creation
We crave and
are not craven.
A glint in fist
the point sharp
you wrap a wrist around mine
and whisper
push it
Together
we thrust truth into my eye
And wait
yumm. this is so you. it feels like one of those that just flowed. was it?
I love this part:
When your
face is against my throat
I will not speak
yet the sound
will cross from me to you
in vibrations
to make skin ripple
to make flesh dimple
to offer resurrection
of creation
We crave and
are not craven.
Yep, just came pouring out, I sometimes think that perhaps, that is how I was always meant to write.
Thanks kid *smile*
I think that's how everyone is meant to write. I don't know how else you could do it really. Not poetry anyway. I can sit down to write prose deliberately, but poetry has to just fall out like that, otherwise it's just not the same.
The revision comes much later after you've gained a bit of distance from the writing.
only problem for me is, when I revise, it takes out the 'me' element to large extent which I'm not always happy about.
I like the 'me'
it is damaged
dangerous
and generally
capable of anything lol
I must be having an all about me day
*grins*
I have them from time to time
lol
oh, I messaged you.
Yo kid, if your around
I sent you a couple of messages
talk soon
Great work Alan. Wow. I'm glad you were moved to write something in response to my challenge.
Beautiful Burning. Hey, could you email me at mmb555@aol.com? Pretty please, I have a quick ? for you.
Moon - this audio is cut off at the end. Pleae re-record for us. I had left you a previous note on your ODEO page.
Thank you,
Didi
Thnks Didi, I'll try again. My computer seems to be having trouble with that site for some reason. I don't know why, it worked perfectly before.
sorry Didi, I had another try but it just won't work for me.
Post a Comment
<< Home