Promises
When I promised myself to live in the moment
the moment scurried to expand
until it encompassed all years behind me
and all those still to come.
This took place inside my head
and squashed out all my carefully nurtured silences
stored during meditations and life coach sessions.
When I promised to find tranquility
it promptly drowned in a puddle
and my resolution to learn to sleep
in a house by myself resulted
in a plethora of bumps and howling,
racing cars with squealing tyres
involved in neighbourhood drive-by shootings,
and the dog decided to rustle and burrow
outside my window like fifteen
different types of burgular.
It has to be acknowledged that so far
my venture into being phenomenal,
with limitless resolve, has been less
than spectacular.
But paycheck by paycheck I've passed
from one birthday to another
in sole charge of my life
until my bravado is almost honest,
independence almost the truth.
the moment scurried to expand
until it encompassed all years behind me
and all those still to come.
This took place inside my head
and squashed out all my carefully nurtured silences
stored during meditations and life coach sessions.
When I promised to find tranquility
it promptly drowned in a puddle
and my resolution to learn to sleep
in a house by myself resulted
in a plethora of bumps and howling,
racing cars with squealing tyres
involved in neighbourhood drive-by shootings,
and the dog decided to rustle and burrow
outside my window like fifteen
different types of burgular.
It has to be acknowledged that so far
my venture into being phenomenal,
with limitless resolve, has been less
than spectacular.
But paycheck by paycheck I've passed
from one birthday to another
in sole charge of my life
until my bravado is almost honest,
independence almost the truth.
posted by burning moon at 8:31 PM
13 Comments:
*serious expression*
I think its the simple honesty of this that is so appealing, it is so very real, so very you. I am inspired to write something real now.
Now if I can just find something lol
Thanks Chris. This doesn't really feel like a poem to me, but really just thinking out loud to myself, and I'm not sure whether the ending works very well.
I never feel as though these sorts of things will be of any interest to anybody else.
I disagree,
there a raw openness to this sort of piece, where in place of metaphor
and poetic device, the writer gives you a straight shot at their soul
instead. There is no artiface in this, and that is the beauty of it.
The reader is given a drink of pure thought, unhindered by attempts to
make it poetically palatable, and to me, thats refreshing.
just my two cents
heh, well thanks. I'm glad you like it. Maybe it just seems self indulgent to me because it's me reading about me. I don't mind reading stuff like this by other people.
It's a gorgeous day here! Makes you feel as though spring is just around the corner.
I'm studying globalization in my sociology class and getting the basics of anthropology in my anthropology class. for some reason I find 'anthropology' to be a very word difficult to write. I always get stuck in the o's, l's, and p's.
What is poetry if not self indulgence?
*rubs hands together with glee*
Writing, be it fiction or poetry, anything but historical or biographical, and some would argue, they indulge fantasy more than most :), but its all the indulging of the imagination. It is allowing that part of us which does not reside in reality to speak for us, speak for our dreams, our visions, our desires
etc etc
And if that be self indulgent, then smear my naked body in milk chocolate,
spray me with whipped cream, and leave me to it lol.
For self indulgence is the sweet tooth of the mind, and I, hungry for its taste.
yeehaa!!!
lol
What is globalization?
Explain it to me in 50 words or less
that'll test ya lol.
chocolate and whipped cream .... ?
behave yourself you grubby boy! Imagine the ... er ... never mind ... I can't think of anywhere I can go here without getting myself into trouble!
Globalization:
Like all modern terms of course it's hotly debated with all the over educated eggs trying to top each other by coming up with the most succinct, quotable definition. But my understanding of it is that it's:
a multi-dimensional term encompassing race, culture, politics, economics, art, etc and when you discuss the globalization of any of these things it's when the national/patriotic boundaries become muted and the topic (whatever it happens to be) begins to be dealt with in an international way.
Okay so that's more than 25 words but whatever, lol. I always was too wordy.
Examples of globalization would be MacDonalds restaurants, Nike, BP, Mobil, Coca-cola ... companies that have become household names in nearly every country in the world and employ people from all those countries.
It includes organisations like Greenpeace and the W.T.O. that transcend national barriers.
Of course, now it rings a bell, various countries, including mine I think, have had protests by small intense groups of protester types causing unrest and waving vague anti globalisation placards around.
Nice tight explanation btw, Im impressed,
and thankyou, you do describe things in a nut shell very well you know *smile*
Sorry to interupt the ping pong - but I LOVE this poem Moon. Love, love, love it. The ending works - "bravado is almost honest" - so true - this poem works because it pulls on a string that holds us all together.
Very cool.
hey thanks Julia. It's especially good to get the opinion of another woman on this. Nice to hear from you.
I love ping pong lol
lol, of course, you would!
Yuck, I've been sick all weekend with some sort of virus. I hardly ever get sick so I'm not very good at it. I get irritable (Hard to imagine I know, lol).
I'm feeling a little better today though still not 100% I'm eating chocolate. Hopefully that'll help.
Chocolate has been proven to cure everything
for dyptheria to hyperthermia *grins*
Sorry you've been crook Moon, nothing worse than feeling
like crap, I will send good vibes your way
I will coat them in chocolate
and release them to a vagrant breeze
They will carry to you through your window
for god sake
don't forget to open it lol
Burning --
it's a likeable framing of a sort of argument-with-oneself, particularly so for the hopscotch of surrealisms and mundaneisms, interestingly tandemed.
I agree the ending is maybe a bit unsure; but it's hard to reach a ringing conclusion, and this attempts not to overdo. I wonder if some recasting of the final line . . . but I don't know. A question could be, if independence is "almost the truth," can one be almost-pregnant? or semi-independent? But I'm of a view that independence is questionable as a construct, though I think what you have in mind is what Emerson phrased (and praised) as "self-reliance"; though the phrase itself seems poor for a poem.
cheers,
d.i.
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