What it is
This morning I found a place,
in the center of my back,
directly behind my navel,
that I never knew was there.
Straight and strong, no
roundness of extra flesh
when I pressed my hand against it.
The discovery made me realise
that all the times in my life
I've felt unloved or unlovable,
I always held this kernel around which
energy flowed and formed.
As a baby, still awash
in the language of stars,
I began to collect knowledge,
to gather experiences of my new world:
my father's hand,
warm, enfolding mine;
my mother's voice;
the seersucker brunchcoats,
my sister's and mine the same,
but in different colours;
the bars of my cot, a first house -
occasional dots of colour. History
building into a life, the same way
any other's does, but unique to me.
I realised, with this new part of myself
found today, that my days
are an accumulation of dots,
and all I can hope to truly know
is myself.
in the center of my back,
directly behind my navel,
that I never knew was there.
Straight and strong, no
roundness of extra flesh
when I pressed my hand against it.
The discovery made me realise
that all the times in my life
I've felt unloved or unlovable,
I always held this kernel around which
energy flowed and formed.
As a baby, still awash
in the language of stars,
I began to collect knowledge,
to gather experiences of my new world:
my father's hand,
warm, enfolding mine;
my mother's voice;
the seersucker brunchcoats,
my sister's and mine the same,
but in different colours;
the bars of my cot, a first house -
occasional dots of colour. History
building into a life, the same way
any other's does, but unique to me.
I realised, with this new part of myself
found today, that my days
are an accumulation of dots,
and all I can hope to truly know
is myself.
posted by burning moon at 2:09 PM
4 Comments:
This one please. I just typed it straight into here, so it's rough.
This is purely my interpretation of it, I have not marked
what I have removed or altered kid just read the revision,
and see if there is anything in it you wish to use, I have
trimmed out the odd modifier
This morning I found a place,
in the center of my back,
I never knew,
was there.
Straight and strong,
no roundness or extra flesh.
When I placed my hand against it,
I suddenly knew.
All the times in my life
I've felt unloved, unlovable,
I was always this kernel of breath
around which energy flowed and formed.
I was born, connected
to the language of stars
to collect knowledge
stored as memory: my father's hand
warm and safe holding mine.
My mother's voice, a seersucker
brunch-coat she made for me,
matching my sister's, the same,
in different colours.
The bars of my cot, a first house,
odd specks of past and colour
building into a life, unique to me.
I realised,
with this new part of me
found today, with all I know,
all I have learned or forgotten,
it will take my whole journey here
just to learn about one person,
myself.
I have altered the last stanza slightly, but I am still not sure it is entirely right, I wonder how the poem would look finishing on the previous strophe, just a thought.
Thank you much. It has taken much tweaking and stretching to get some sort of shape into this one. That's what you get for composing in the shower I suppose, lol.
The last strophe is particuarly troublesome, but slowly improving.
I must try composing in the shower lol
No worries, hope you can find something in the above to use *smile*
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