Starlight Wish
They walked beneath
the evening willows
that dabbled in the river
as grey eels ribbon danced
among stems of weed.
The First Noel
fluted above distant traffic
and restaurant murmur.
His eyes were shining
and constant as the ripple
and flow of water.
'I love you' he said
and gave her a star
to wear on her breast.
'Beautiful' she said
with all the hair
on her chinny chin chin
bristling in starlight.
'Beautiful' he said.
the evening willows
that dabbled in the river
as grey eels ribbon danced
among stems of weed.
The First Noel
fluted above distant traffic
and restaurant murmur.
His eyes were shining
and constant as the ripple
and flow of water.
'I love you' he said
and gave her a star
to wear on her breast.
'Beautiful' she said
with all the hair
on her chinny chin chin
bristling in starlight.
'Beautiful' he said.
posted by burning moon at 1:20 PM
5 Comments:
This is a real nice poem. I'll try to read some more later.
thanks middle ditch. interesting name
The essence of the poem lies in these two stanza's for me
His eyes were shining
and constant as the ripple
and flow of water.
'I love you' he said
and gave her a star
to wear on her breast.
I LOVE what you did with this poem Moon, the beginning was filled with the depth of descriptive you are so excellent at portraying, but the simplicity of these two stanza's take it somewhere unexpected, and the final stanza takes it back to classic Burning Moon, the chinny chin chin reference is pure You.
You might guess, I enjoyed this emmensely
lol, hey baba louie, yep. you got it exactly. and that was the exact order and place I wrote these strophes too. good spotting.
I spent the morning Chrissie shopping with Jacob. He's such a character. Hasn't changed hardly at all since he was six months old. :D Good company
Sounds like fun *grins*
I have avoided the shops so far, did my xmas stuff early lol
Im not the grinch, but shopping at this late stage gives me the heebie geebies
Post a Comment
<< Home